“This is Robin, she’s an artist. She’s always been able to draw really well. blah blah…”

Of course, I’m flattered that they think I draw well, at all. The problem is implying that I have some kind of innate talent. I feel that some “skills” involve physical assets to be accomplished. It’s not likely that a really bulky person will ever be a master contortionist because the size of their muscles might get in the way of certain compact poses. I suppose how your voice sounds on a very basic level has a huge effect on whether or not you’ll ever be able to sing.

Drawing, however, is all about training.

I draw better than someone that doesn’t draw simply because I draw.

I draw better than someone that’s only recently started drawing because I’ve been doodling since I was 4 years old. I’ve trained my hand to create images I see in my mind. Over time, I’ve trained my -mind- to see the world around me in simplified ways that allow it to be drawn. Hand-Eye Coordination & Perception… both things that are affected by time spent working on them, I’ve had the opportunity to hone for almost two decades.

So, if there’s something you want to do. Anything. Don’t look at the people that do it and give them some sort of “super powers” in your mind. They are normal people. They’re just like you. They’ve just lived a lifestyle that allowed them to put in the work. You could change your habits, right this minute, and be on the road to success!

I know most of the blogs I follow are fashion-related so nobody’s really talking about it. I’d like it if you responded here with how you think your online “publishing” will be affected by ACTA.

I used two apps to get this (rather terrifying) purikura-homage.

KiraDeco

and

Decopic!

If you’re interested, bloomzy wrote an actual review of one, here!

One thing I’ve noticed about subculture girls is this tendency to become “BEST FRIENDS FOREVER” with the girl that -looks- like them. Crazy hair, piercings, platform boots. “Surely it’s a match made in heaven if this girl -dresses- like me.” is a dangerous attitude. Sometimes it’s 100% true. Sometimes you find that person that fits your look AND fits into your soul with a Yin & Yang kind of harmony. That’s a beautiful friendship and should be celebrated!!!

However, I’ve seem more toxic friendships start & end that way than I can count on all my fingers & toes. It’s sad and JUST as superficial & vapid as what the “normal” girls that all the “weird” girls hate do.

My best friend & I don’t dress alike. Periodically I tone it down so we’re near some sort of medium if we go somewhere classy. Periodically she wilds out so we’re near some sort of medium if we go somewhere flashy. Overall, our friendship is about how comfortable we are around each other. Despite liking completely different stuff, we’re always willing to share with each other. She’s introduced me to a million different things and has been open to me introducing her to movies, books, activities, people, etc. in return. That’s why she’s my BEST friend. Not because we are the same person but because we accommodate our differences.

I have people in my life that dress like me and like -exactly- the same stuff I like. They’re good people. We get along. I appreciate them. However, when things happen to me, they’re not there. When I hit a rough patch or have days where I don’t know what I’m doing or why, they’re not around. When I need time to myself, they interpret as some sort of personal slight & hold a grudge once I’m back on my feet. My BEST friend doesn’t do that to me. She understands and when she doesn’t, she calls me out on it and we get over it.

I’m not saying that I don’t have lots of friends. I do. I even have multiple people around that have my best interests at heart. I can’t express to them how much they mean. I often try.

I’m saying that most of my friends don’t even understand why I dress the way I do… and that doesn’t matter. They don’t like my favorite cartoon (or like cartoons at all) and that’s fine. They don’t like Harry Potter (okay, I’ll admit that’s pushing it, in my book. XDDD) and that’s (kinda sorta almost) okay, too.

My friends are the people I can rest my heart with. They bring me joy. I find myself always wanting to do things that bring them joy.

Remember to love the people that love you and be SELFISH with your love when you’re around that girl or guy that looks like you but treats you like a toy.

In the early 90s (ESPECIALLY in street-snap pics) the only girls that would look at the camera with any semblance of strength & self-worth were punk chicks & ko-gyaru.
I always saw candid shots of regular Japanese teenagers & froofy lolitas ducking their heads or cutting their eyes toward the ground. It disturbed me.

I grew up as a pint-sized feminist and I never could interpret their unwillingness to look up at the camera as anything but an apology.

I’m sorry I’m different. I’m sorry I’m not cute. I’m sorry I’m a girl. I’m sorry I’m aging. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Japan has a culture kind of built on apologies, but the GUYS in magazines weren’t cowering behind their hair or accessories. The GUYS looked at the camera. Many pictures of couples involved the guy staring at the camera and the girl tucked neatly under his arm where he could protect her from developing an ego. Poor baby.

Whenever a woman did look at the camera, It struck me. I’d stare. I’d pay attention longer. I always wanted to be like -her- whomever she was at the moment.

Magazines & Entertainment used to be so different back then. On the outside looking in, it was hard to imagine Japan as a place where a woman with breasts would be given the time of day. I was a KID with curves that popped up, seemingly overnight. I was finally getting over having been bullied my whole life. I had, at the time, recently given up on apologizing for being me.

I don’t think I would have remained interested in Japanese Street Fashion without stumbling upon gals. Their whole image was about being a fearless girl. Girl. Not half of a cute couple or some androgynous “other.”

Gal was about cleavage and legs and makeup but not in a “Hey, baby. I’m sexy. Please like me” way. It was a pre-LMFAO “wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, YEAH!” It was all the confidence & bravado I could easily associate with punk rock but wrapped in a more colorful package. It exhibited the embellishment fetish of my favorite Ghetto Fabulous Females but more happy (You know, lacking decades of civil rights struggles and poverty as a historical backdrop.)

It was superficial and it did not apologize for being superficial. It was narcissistic and it did not apologize for being narcissistic. It was eternal youth but NOT the infantile “Take care of me, goo goo ga ga, I poop myself adorably” stage that women painted on when guys popped up. It was an older youth. The kind of youth that drinks & parties. It glorified that stage of life where you’re allowed to do things on your own and all your decisions are borderline insane but it FEELS SO GOOOOOOOOD.

Once upon a time, I would have been told ALL MY LIFE that being a Black chick was a bad thing. I would have been told that being a chick was a bad thing. However, it’s up to -ME- whether or not I believe society’s bull. I’m a fat, Black chick. In dating, careers, and pretty much everything in the world, people would have me believe that I’m the scum of the Earth.

Bump. THAT.

I’m energetic, educated, and empowered. That WAS/IS/WILL FOREVER BE my choice.

I think I chose well.

The Holstee Manifesto Lifecycle Video from Holstee on Vimeo.

Cops & Robbers party @ The Tavern
Myself & B.West

Most of you know me via Japanese subculture & fashion. Others, via my love of geeky things, nightclubbing, or local parties.
So, many of you are not aware of how often I do completely unrelated things like going to football & soccer games, volunteering, crafting, sewing, etc.

Instead of censoring those moments out of my blog because they’re rather pointless to read about, I’ve decided to make one post a day for 30 days. Starting today (and this post counts. )
Any back-entries I make that are dated prior to today will NOT count, so if you’re following using an RSS feed, there’s a chance you’ll see multiple posts from me in a single day. I’ll also start doing my “link haul” posts again so you can know what blogs I’m reading and what entries I found most interesting.

This revamp is designed to bring the internet back into my life. I’ve made a habit of using the internet for a little entertainment & then disconnecting in order to function in real life.
The problem there is: A lot of the people I truly care about almost -never- hear from me because we use the internet I’ve disconnected from in order to keep in touch.

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